The Solomon Paradox : The Advice That’s Already in You

The Solomon Paradox

It’s easier to give advice than take your own

Ever notice how the sharpest advice you’ve ever given a friend…
…is usually the exact advice you need yourself?

That’s called the Solomon Paradox.
Psychologists coined the term after King Solomon, known for his wisdom, who famously failed to apply his own advice in his personal life.

The paradox highlights how emotional involvement and personal biases can impede one's ability to reason wisely in their own situation

It’s easier to see clearly when the problem isn’t ours.
Distance gives perspective. Ego isn’t in the way. The stakes don’t feel personal.

But when it’s our money, our relationship, our health?
We go blind.

Here’s how I gamify it

You can look at my calendar right now and once a month there’s a block that says:
“Chat with Grandpa Julian.”

I imagine stepping into my 80-year-old self.

The version of me who’s already lived it all.
Who built the life I dreamed of.
The house. The family. The love. The gratitude.

I step into his shoes.
Feel what he feels.
Breathe what he breathes.

And then I look back at today.. at me, sitting here worried about emails or timelines or delays.

That 80-year-old version of me? He chuckles.
He says:

“Your knees don’t hurt yet.
You’ve got energy to spare.
You’ve got the love of your life and you’re both so young.
You’ve got time. So much time.

Why are you so worried?”

If you just ask your 80-year-old self, you’ll notice something:
Your future self knows exactly what to say.

They’ll point out the opportunities you’re ignoring.
They’ll name the fears you’re letting control you.
They’ll remind you of the gratitude you’re skipping over.

And just like that, you’ll have the clarity you’ve been waiting for.

The best advice is always easier to give to someone else.

But here’s the trick: you can make yourself “someone else.”

Through imagination,

Through perspective.

Your wisest advisor is already in you.
You just need to give them a chair at the table.

That’s how I practice beating the Solomon Paradox.
Not by forcing myself to “figure it out”…
…but by letting future me speak.